Toddlers, Tantrums & Transitions

I recently wrote a post talking about how the 18 month sleep regression is killing me, I spoke about how Alyssia had always been an amazing sleeper until now & how much I’m really struggling to get things done. We made the decision to move Alyssia into a toddler bed now that she is 19 months old and keeps attempting to climb out. She absolutely loved it when we were putting it together and once it was up she wouldn’t stop saying ‘my new bed’ but when it came to night time, she decided that she despised the thing. 10 minutes of crying and I was nearly in tears, call me a wet-wipe all you like but nobody likes to hear their little ones upset especially when you thought you were doing the right thing.

I went in every 2 minutes to put her back in bed but every time I went in she thought it was funny.  Another 10 minutes went by & she finally decided to go and get into the dreaded toddler bed by herself. She woke up at 4.30 am crying her eyes out, this was bound to happen as it was her first night not sleeping in a cot so I went in to reassure her, gave her a warm bottle of milk & read her a book but every time I left the room she screamed and cried. It’s 4.30 in the morning, we live in a block of flats & my partner had to get up early for work so I sat in her room with her trying to calm her down for the next hour until it got ridiculous & I thought f@ck it, you’re not going back to sleep so we might as well just get up. We went into the living room & not even cbeebies had started yet. She was rubbing her eyes but refused to cuddle me, refused to go back to bed, didn’t want her milk and just sat there waiting for Cbeebies to start. 7am hit & I was absolutely shattered, I’d had about 3 hours sleep (why the hell did I go to bed so late?) and I just couldn’t cope anymore, I put her back into bed & she cried for a few minutes and finally settled. FINALLY.

We spent most of the following day in her bedroom playing with her toys trying to get her used to her ‘Big Girls Bed’ which I definetely think helped. Night 2 came around quicker than I thought it would and I had been dreading it all day. I kept thinking to myself, if tonight is the same as last night we’re gonna have to put the cot back up. I was not prepared to get up at stupid’oclock again so I put my foot down. I put her to bed like normal, gave her a kiss goodnight, she got upset so I reassured her, said goodnight & walked out the room. She got straight out of bed & cried at the gate. 3 minutes it took and she got straight back into bed on her own accord, I could not bloody believe it. She slept all night until 6.30, I thought I was blessed. Night 3 came around and she settled within seconds, I was posting online how proud I was of her & then she decided to get up again at 4.30 thinking it’s playtime. My brother stayed over at the weekend so he got up with her at 4.30 bless him, until he soon realised that she (despite being tired) wasn’t going to give in. Alyssia doesn’t do things in halves, she never did go back to sleep until 2pm that afternoon where she fell asleep cuddling me on the sofa. Did someone say cuddling?

Yes Cuddling. Since moving Alyssia into her toddler bed, she has become so so clingy. She want’s mummy 24/7 and I just can’t keep up. She’s never been a cuddly baby and has always wanted to be left alone, but recently shes been asking me for “Cuggles” & has been at my feet nonstop. At first it’s the best thing ever, but when you’ve got a house to run & work to do it’s pretty bloody hard to keep up. Now that she’s not napping in the day, I’m struggling to get anything done and I just feel like everything is getting on top of me. I hate to be a debby downer but motherhood is hard work at times and the mum guilt is unreal. I overthink myself into a state & constantly wonder if I’m doing the right thing for my daughter. But I am, I’m trying my absolute best to be a good mum, a good partner, run a household & run a business. Its world mental health day today and I need to keep reminding myself that I’m trying my best and that’s all that matters. I am enough and so are you. #MentalHealthAwareness